How to Minimize the Sibling Rivalry
By: Krystal W. Abbott
The answer is easy . . . The execution, however, is what requires the effort. I don’t care if your kid is a lousy student, an uninspired athlete, lacks the existence of a creative bone in his or her body, has a crappy work ethic, appears to excel at nothing, or just seems to lack interest in anything. Every child has a special gift, a special talent, or the potential to have one. Sometimes those gifts and talents are easier to identify in some kids than in others. The hard work comes with those kids whose talents are not readily apparent.
Hard work does not mean enrolling your kid in every recreational activity under the sun; or spending every penny you have for some type of lesson or another. It is more about observing and listening to your child. Sounds simple, but when you are trying to run your kids here and there; monitor school work and activities, pay bills, prepare meals, and work outside of the home, it is difficult to sometimes sit, observe and listen. It is not an issue you will resolve over night. It will take time. My point is . . . once you are able to identify your individual children’s gifts, they will each have their own thing to excel at and thrive on and there will not be a need for them to worry about how well their sibling(s) is doing or how much better their sibling is doing because he or she will have their own special talent. As a result, the rivalry between or amongst your kids will be close to non-existent.
My 13 year old daughter was easy. She has been singing since before she could talk and her outgoing personality, and her love for acting and dancing pegs her squarely as a triple threat in the actress, singer and dancer category. My 15 year old daughter threw us for a loop. She had always been uncoordinated, clumsy, no rhythm, appeared cross-eyed, and had asthma, allergies . . . the last person you would think would excel in athletics. Well, my husband saw it . . . I did not. And he was right. She is extremely athletic, excels in any sport she plays and is being recruited for a college scholarship playing volleyball. My oldest daughter found track and field. She loves it and works so hard at it. More than that, her special talent as a leader, a debater, a negotiator, an advocate and her passion for world events definitely has her square pegged as doing good works in Congress, the Senate, a political office or somewhere in the public/political sector. My 12 year old son definitely wants to be an entrepreneur of some sort and he loves playing football. My 10 year old son loves animals and wants to be a veterinarian.